Archive for the ‘Prayer Requests’ Category

jessandpoohThis is Jessica. She is our niece from Steve’s side of the family. She was taken away from Steve’s sister Christy. The reason she and three of her siblings were taken away is a really long story for another time…maybe. She is now 18. She turned 18 January 9th. In 2007 around Christmas time she came to live with Steve and I. She told her adoptive parents she wanted to get to know the family her real family. They agreed to give us temporary power of attorney so we could put her in school here in Texas. She came and we all fell in love with her. She is the sweetest girl. She is so loving, so helpful it was like she had always been in our family. She was with us for two whole weeks. She was just settling in to her new school. Her parents decided they made a huge mistake in letting her come to live with us. They missed her too much. Her Dad could not function without her. He started drinking because she was gone. She told us she did not want to go back. They abused her physically. She had the bruises to prove it. In the end we had no choice but to send her back. We called c.p.s. on the parents, they could not do anything. They were going to charge us with kidnapping if we did not make her get on the plane. So, off she went. I was heart broken. I knew she was not mine, but she filled the ache I had for a baby. Here is the post I wrote just before she left.

A week and half ago our life changed a great deal. A great deal for the better I might add. We took in Steve’s niece Jessica. She is 16. She was taken away from his family 10+ years ago, but I am not going into those details. She got here and has been a great source of love, energy, and life into our home. She is a beautiful young woman with a wonderful sense of humor. She has not even been here for two whole weeks, but I love this girl with my heart. Even though I know she is my niece she has stopped the ache in my heart for a baby. But they the ones who just sent her away, the ones who I now know hurt her physically and emotionally want her back now. We had to take her to the ER because she had a panic attack. I watched her sit in a corner and cry and shake and rock back and forth. We have called the authorities in both places here where we live and where she is going back to. We can not hold her here, not against her will. We have tried to change her mind, but she says she has to go back. They said we are not her family. That we did not protect her when she was in our care. But I was not around and my husband was a teenager. What I ask you could he do? Then they turn around and say we must be incredible people to open our home, and our hearts up to her, when we really dont know her. You really can not help but fall in love with this girl. My heart is breaking I cant stop crying. I cant fix this. I just want to protect her and I cant, there is no way for me to do that. So at six in the morning I get to watch her walk out of our life. I don’t know when we will see her again, or even talk to her, because we have already been told that we will no longer be able to contact her. All I can do is tell her we love her, and she will always have a home where ever we may be. We have told her we want her to stay, and that she can stay but she doesnt see what we see. All she knows is what they are feeding into her head and that is something that should be done to no one. The only thing I know to do is to pray, and pray, and pray some more. Jess we love you!!!! We want you to stay. We are here for you.

We have hardly had any contact with her this last year. I send her messages through myspace. We found out that they were hitting her again, but this time she defended herself. They called the cops on her. They had her put into a medical center of some sort. It is for troubled youth. She called today. Since she is 18 she can check herself out. She is supposed to stay until March of this year. er parents told  her if she checks out early she is no longer welcome in their home. She told us as soon as I am 18 I will be back. She needs money to get down here. She is in Montana. Patty is going to pay for her flight down here and she is moving back in with us. I am excited about this. I know it will be hard with Mom and Dad here as well. But we have the Lord on our side. It will work out the way He wants it to. If you guys would please pray for us and this situation. I want God’s will done, not mine.


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Our Thanksgiving dinner at the church went great. We had some awesome food and then we went to the sanctuary to give thanks to God. We went around and told our stories and what we were Thankful for. Some of those stories were just so touching. I used a couple of tissues.

Mom was not feeling very good she decided to stay home cause she was coughing a lot and she did not want to be coughing that much while people were trying to eat. When we got home she was worse. She kept saying that she felt like she was drowning. She could hardly breathe. We took her to the E.R. and they kept her again. Her CHF is acting up again. They did a cat scan on her today and hopefully she will be home tomorrow. If you guys could pray that she will be home before Thanksgiving that would be awesome. Our Pastor went to see her twice today and he gave Dad money for lunch. This man blows me away.

After church yesterday the Pastor told Dad we would be getting a Thanksgiving basket. I was shocked. I am amazed that they want to help with our Thanksgiving dinner. It is a blessing but we had already bought what we needed for Thanksgiving I worry that we took a basket away from a family that really needed it. Yes do not get me wrong money is tight. We are behind on some bills, but we always have money to get food. My sister and I are splitting the cost of Thanksgiving so we helped each other out.  The Lord put our name on his heart so I guess I should just shut my mouth and be grateful that we received this blessing!

Tonight was the last night of our ladies Bible study. I was really sad for two reasons; Mom was not there and we do this study together, and this study has increased my self worth in my eyes. I am sad that we will not be getting together once a week any more. Well at least not until February. We start a new study  February 2. Our Bible studies are by Beth Moore. She is an awesome teacher.

I went to church this evening and was so shocked and moved by the Preacher’s message. I had a huge revelation tonight. I have what I feel is an impossible situation. Now I know the Scripture that says with God all things are possible. This was tonight message by the way, impossible situations. I really thought that I trusted God with every thing any problem I think I have, I give it to him. Tonight, as the preacher was preaching He showed me I have not trusted him with all things in fact, this thing I have cursed him for.( I hate that I have to admit this out loud that I cursed Him for anything but I have.) My husband and I have been married for 8 1/2 years. We got married young, well I got married really really young I was 17. The fact that I was 17 and getting married everyone assumed that I had gotten pregnant. Well, that was not the case. The truth is in the last 8 1/2 years we have never used anything to stop us from getting pregnat. No, we have never been to the doctor to see what is wrong.  We have never had insurance to do that. I have cursed God for not fixing this. My arms ache to hold a child. You know the saying you cant miss someone you have never met, well it is so not true. I miss the children my husband and I  have not had. It is weird though the only way I make it through a day is by giving that ache to God.  This was my huge revelation tonight. Why can I not trust Him on this issue. I have never just let Him have this problem. I trust Him with so many other worries and issues but why not this one? I was so shocked that with everything I have seen Him do in my life that I had been holding on so tightly to this issue. Needsless to say I was bawling and I mean bawling my eyes out in the middle of service and it contiued intill service had ended. Please pray for me on this issue.

I want a baby
I want the baby bottles
I want the baby blankets
I want the baby clothes
I want the baby toys
I want the baby bed
I want the baby car seat
I want the baby stroller
I want the baby nursery
I want all the baby things that go with a baby, but most of all I want a baby to fill my arms

 

My Dad goes in for a biopsy this morning. I can not be there with them today, but I know that GOD is with him. I am nervous I can not lie about that. I am trying not to let myself get freaked out, but I am really struggling for control. I have already cried three times this morning. I am so damned scared……… I know all things are possible thru GOD. HE is a healer and a redeemer. HE is an awesome GOD, that has a plan for everybody. I claim that my Dad will be healed, he will be healthy.

We could use your thought and prayers. Our family would really appreciate all of them. Thank you in advance.